Here are some of the contenders for today's biggest...news...of...the...day...

• Earnings from BMC Software Inc (BMC)...
• Earnings from Abercrombie & Fitch Co (ANF)...
• Optimism on large technology stocks as they are described as being "a shelter in the storm..."
• Chatter that an "activist investor" is taking a stake in Starbucks Corp. (SBUX)...
• Fines for E-Trade Financial Corp (ETFC), TradeStation Group Inc. (TRAD), and CIBC World Markets Corp...they were penalized "a total of $1.6 million for failing to report information on customer transactions to U.S. regulators..."
• An extension of Cree Inc's (CREE) stock repurchase program...
• Downbeat comments from Myron Scholes who said "In my view, this is probably as bad or worse than the 1989-1990 crisis and may even rival the worst crisis we've seen since the end of the Second World War..."
• The continuing drama that is Yahoo! Inc (YHOO), Microsoft (MSFT), and Carl Icahn...
• A new high for oil as it "rose to a record above $127 on speculation China will need to increase diesel purchases for its power plants..."
• A look into General Motors (GM) under the heading of - "The lumbering, money-losing giant finally sees that gas engines are a losing bet. But is it too late?"
• A look into "gas-saving myths..."

While those are all stories worth watching, I think it is obviously clear that the biggest news is this pair of (related?) stories -

• Giant pythons invade southeastern Florida: study - "Giant pythons capable of swallowing a dog and even an alligator are rapidly making south Florida their home, potentially threatening other southeastern states, a study said..."
• "Snake man" slithers out of prison cell - "A man has escaped from his Austrian jail cell by squeezing through a food hatch in the door...How he got through two further doors or possibly over the prison wall is being investigated..."

I guess it goes without saying (but I won't let that stop me) that the first story is just one more example of the looming animal uprising. But I think there might possibly be something more sinister going on here. Consider this...

The first story talks about highly adaptable, slithering creatures weighing more than 100 pounds. The second story talks about a (supposed) man "who weighed less than 121 pounds" and squeezed through a food hatch. How do we know this just wasn't a giant python masquerading as a man? Or, worse yet, some sort of hybrid?

And for those of you who don't yet fear that the animals would have any shot of winning in an uprising, I ask you to consider this story - Police say men trying to steal power lines shocked. The men were "charged with trying to steal live power lines that were still attached to a transformer and utility poles..."

Yes, you read that correctly...live power lines...at this point it is looking like the senior citizen fencing brigade may be our only defense...